Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Yesterday, my boss called to let me know I had the next two days off. I had worked 13.5 hours the day before and my brain was fried. I had no mental energy left for the remainder of the week. Little did she know, I’d already planned on calling off because this was the day that my doctor would give me my long-awaited and final diagnosis. Having had a few diagnoses prior, I needed confirmation.
I was sitting in my office reading when the doctor called, an hour before my scheduled appointment.
She reported that I have Degenerative Disc Disease (DDD). Treatment can help, but this condition can’t be cured, and the chronic pain is lifelong. What’s more, she said that I should expect to be unable to walk in the very near future.
This was not the news I wanted. After the initial shock wore off, I began to ask so many questions. “What do I do now?” I cried. I told my doctor, “I’m too young for this!” I want to take more walks with my husband, I want to go to Disney with my 6 kisses, I want to ride my expensive bike. She listed my options, apologized for having to share such devastating news, and wished me the best.
This was definitely devastating, but I’m a fighter! I do not give up!
I remember many years ago when I was diagnosed with trigeminal neuralgia (TN). Later that same day, I googled the condition and became extremely discouraged. It was described as “one of the most painful afflictions known to the medical community, for which there is no cure.” But God healed me, and I beat that diagnosis! Then to turn around and be diagnosed with DDD felt like another huge blow – but I know my God can heal me again!
David says that God is with us in the valley of the shadow of death (Psalm 23:4) and this experience has taught – and continues to teach – me that same truth. I’ve had many extremely difficult days along the journey, but I am never alone or abandoned by God.
In all the ups and downs of this health issue, my church has been there. And, as you can imagine, this hasn’t been an easy road for me and my family to travel. Even with the assurance that God would see us through this, as He always has and will continue to do, I often have extremely painful days. I also recognize that not everyone who gets a difficult diagnosis is able to trace the ways that God is moving in their situation.
Nevertheless, I pray that my story will assure you that God is still working!