Some friendships have a very positive impact on us. I have a very small circle of friends who love me enough to challenge me, encourage me and cheer me on. They tell me the truth in love and have my best interest in mind – these are marks of a true friend! If your friend(s) don’t resemble these positive traits, it’s time for a friendship examination.
Some friendships have a very positive impact on us. I have a very small circle of friends who love me enough to challenge me, encourage me and cheer me on. They tell me the truth in love and have my best interest in mind – these are marks of a true friend! If your friend(s) don’t resemble these positive traits, it’s time for a friendship examination.
If you’re feeling like you carry the weight of the relationship, then you should take a step back and see why you’re allowing this.
You can be unequally yoked with your friends. As the Bible says, how can two walk together unless they agree?
There are always people waiting to take advantage of others. They will push you to do things that you are uncomfortable with, even things you know are wrong. They want to talk about things you don’t want to talk about, yet you still allow yourself to be entangled in this toxic relationship. They are unreliable, undependable, lousy listeners and leave you feeling drained and perhaps used, rather than satisfied and content. And what about the friend who, when y’all are together, folks wonder why you are hanging with this person when you seem opposite their personality. Or worse, sometimes you find yourself mimicking their negativity when you’re with them. Do you stay friends with them because they feed your ego, or do they offer you things that entice you to remain friends with them?
“Evil communication corrupts good manners.” (1 Corinthians 15:33)
Maybe you feel trapped and insecure about your small circle of friends, so you feel stuck with sad individuals because you’re just happy to be in a friendship.
Well you’re a full-grown adult now…
“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” 1 Corinthians 13:11)
It’s time to put away childish games and set boundaries. I don’t care if this friend has been your childhood friend and, perhaps, you’re in the friendship to show support, but these kinds of interactions can be draining and stifle your growth as a person. My husband says all the time, show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.
“My child don’t lose sight of common sense and discernment. Hang on to them for they will refresh your soul.” (Proverbs 3:21-22)
Understanding and compassion are great attributes, but keep in mind that you accept you teach. It could be that these people are keeping you from reaching your fullest potential. Set boundaries and, honestly, it just may be time to end this relationship. Don’t just unfriend them from social media but remove those heartstrings that bind you together. Social media is a relational tool, not relational reality. I heard someone recently say they have over 1,000 friends on social media, but they don’t know even half of them. Friendships thrive when we cultivate them. They die when it’s one sided, draining and toxic. Examine your friend list.
You know you’ve found a true friend if you can sing this song and mean it:
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That’s what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I’ll be on your side forever more
That’s what friends are for
1 thought on “True Friendship”
Makes me think of Proberbs 17:17 A “true” friend loves at all times! (Quotation marks added for emphasis)
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