Facing the unknown gives some an adrenaline rush, excites them and causes unimaginable goosebumps; for me, it’s totally opposite. I can work in a very quiet, predictable environment, no need for music unless it’s very low, almost to the point of a whisper. I have grown to realize that for me to move forward, I need to relinquish my comfort to God. This means I must consistently encounter the unknown. As my trust in God increases, I keep experiencing more opened doors which provide me an opportunity to share the good news. I often mention that people drain me so I’m not sure why God keeps doing this to me. I’ve heard my mentor say that she “does nervous well.” I’m still working on that skill; it depends on the situation. Very soon I will be visiting a place I often dreaded for years! A place where my husband felt at home, a place where I couldn’t leave fast enough. I was homesick, lonely, overwhelmed and often felt like “why am I even here on earth?” What place is this? The football field. Unlike my husband, I detest sports. Yet, throughout the beginning of my marriage I found myself tagging along to these games. While he enjoyed the game and conversed with his friends, I often felt isolated because this was such a loathsome pastime for me. Even now, when I think of sitting in the stands, I am filled with dread. Although this is now a place of the past, I look back and realize those days were training grounds for where I am today. They forced me to step out of my comfort zone and interact with people who were very different from me. I could choose to wallow in misery the entire game, or I could choose to break through my shell and find a connection with someone else in the stadium.
God calls us to move forward. We may revisit places from our past, just as Paul revisited Caesarea. But He also calls us to embrace His plans and move forward, trusting Him each step of the way. He wants us to look at our lives not just as an adventure, but also as a constant series of opportunities to serve Him and learn new things. As I prepare to go back to the college my husband graduated from – and as I step foot back in the stadium for the homecoming game – I’m praying that I will focus on the positive. I’ve noticed that my purpose aligns with my past so the good and the bad have brought me to this point in my life. I continue to be asked to speak at various events even though I feel so inadequate. But when God says it’s time, who am I to question it? He spoke through a donkey (which cracks me up), so He can certainly speak through me.
“It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own. Our qualification comes from God.” 2 Corinthians 3:5
The seat He designed for you doesn’t fit everyone. You don’t have to compete because God’s plan for you is unique and is not contingent on those around you. If He tells you to do something, then do it! Get over the insecurities and do it in the name of Jesus. With His power propelling and sustaining you, there is no limit to what you’re able to accomplish when you walk in His will and His timing.
I would like to personally invite you to an event where I am one of the speakers. If you can not attend personally you will have the opportunity to watch live- It will be televised nationally. Information is on my website. Thank you in advance for your prayers for this initiative.